


Searched To Find The Love Within

by Thehunna_1308



Category: EXO (Band), Mamamoo, SHINee, Super Junior, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music Industry, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Still Birth, Multi, Past Abuse, Substance Abuse, lots of gays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 05:10:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13652088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thehunna_1308/pseuds/Thehunna_1308
Summary: Kim Junmyeon finds a way to move forward.





	Searched To Find The Love Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just the prologue. This fic may get pretty long but I'm writing at my own pace. Please be patient with me and I hope you enjoy~

If Junmyeon were to write a short summary of his life up till now, it would sound something like this: 

 

Junmyeon was a simple man living a charmed life. At 32, he seemed to have it all, an amazing job as a music executive at his father’s company, Kim Brothers Entertainment, a doting wife, a supportive family and all the money and material things he could possibly ever want. But it just wasn’t enough.  

 

Having a well known and respected family, Junmyeon had grown up in the public eye and had always acted proper to appease his father's strict ideals. It was tough, and he fucked up far too many times in his youth. 

 

When he was a freshman in college he got his first real taste of independence, so of course he acted out. When he came home for his Christmas break with near shoulder length blonde hair and pierced ears his father put him through the ringer. He returned to school with black hair cut to a respectable length, bare ears, and a few too many bruises on the back of his legs. His father said if he wasn't careful he would undoubtedly become the shame of the family and that he would lose his place among them. It went almost without saying that he could never tell his father about his sexuality.

 

Junmyeon had known he was gay for as long as he could remember. Instead of chasing all the little girls around the playground in elementary, he was oddly fascinated with his father’s Sport’s Illustrated magazines. Staring at all the half naked, well-built men covered in a light sheen of sweat stirred something within him. He knew he was different. He didn’t realize how different until he came into his fist with a muffled cry while staring at Leonardo Dicaprio on the cover of Tiger Beat Magazine.

 

That was the first moment in his life when he realized that in order to survive, he had to live a lie. During his first year of college he met a set of twin siblings, Xiumin and Moonbyul. They were the two most fascinating and eccentric people he had ever seen and he was instantly drawn to them.  Seeing someone be so comfortable in their skin, so accepting and accepted drove him to build a deeper friendship with the two. He soon discovered that they came from a well known family themselves and used different names to protect themselves from too much unwanted attention. Minseok and Byulyi Moon, of the famous Moon Law family. Perfect allies to help him lead his double life. They were the only two to know the ins and outs of Junmyeons mind. They knew about everything, including his sexuality. He had confessed tearfully in the early morning hours over cheap vodka and cigarettes. 

 

He had not expected for Byulyi to share that she was asexual and thus faced scrutiny from her family for not being interested in bringing children into the world. With this newfound knowledge at his disposal, Junmyeon devised a plan. He and Byulyi decided to date to keep their parents happy. They grew closer and more comfortable with one another and in their final year of school, decided to get married. They were both content to stay together and continue to support each other in whatever way they could. Minseok was behind them every step of the way and even helped to plan the ceremony down to the smallest details. 

 

Minseok had come to love Junmyeon like the brother he never had and was overjoyed to finally be able to have his dream become a reality. It was a good business move and so both families were delighted with the nuptials.  Moon Law gained a powerful new client and Kim Entertainment gained an ironclad defense lawyer.

 

The couple lived 3 years of married bliss before  their parents started badgering them about children. They decided to try, neither feeling completely comfortable with the process of making a baby but trusting each other enough to give it a shot. After an awkward and giggly and slightly embarrassing start, they ended up actually enjoying the closeness that those few nights together brought them. Byulyi was pregnant by the end of that fourth year and the two parents couldn't be more excited. 

 

But as with many good things, something went wrong and their son was stillborn. The tragedy made the little family feel like failures and drove their parents to push them toward children even farther. This plan did nothing but stress Byulyi out to the point that even the mention of intimacy made her spiral out of control. 

 

So Junmyeon decided to cut that part out of the relationship and protect his wife from their overbearing families. He and Byulyi went to a doctor friend and had them write out a letter stating Byulyi’s infertility so they wouldn't have to feel pressured to keep trying. It was a risky move but no one questioned the validity of the claim. They lived another three years happily before Junmyeon had had enough. He came home from work one night, worn and distraught, and he cried in Byulyi’s lap. He wanted to quit living this lie, he wanted to be himself and for Byulyi to do the same. He wanted to be out. 

 

He hadn't realized that he had pocket dialed his father's secretary until it was too late. The next morning he walked into his father's office and was told that he no longer had a place within the company or the family. He went home to Byulyi and cried until he decided to leave Korea and find his own way. He and Byulyi finalized  their divorce and he sold all of his worldly possessions and took the next flight out to America: Nashville, Tennessee . 

  
  


That’s where this story begins, in a tiny, overpriced apartment in the Gulch. Home to a man, his cat, and his empty soul.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/thehunna_1308)


End file.
